Establishing boundaries – Part 2 – more intentional strategies

Strengthening boundaries is a good way to build self trust and work toward having a more peaceful and joy-filled life.

I’ve been thinking about how important it is to stay consistent with having healthy boundaries. In a continuation of a previous post (“Establishing boundaries – 6 intentional strategies”) on boundaries and listening to internal cues, here are 5 additional strategies that could be helpful to consider if you’ve been working on developing your own tools for having and keeping healthy boundaries:

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• Give yourself the space you need
  • Take a much deserved break if you’ve been feeling overwhelmed. Give yourself that space to sort through, evaluate and feel any emotions that come up during your day instead of pushing them away. Figure out what whether any of the overwhelm is coming from not having the boundaries you need.

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• Create new boundarieswhen you need to
  • If you feel your current boundaries aren’t giving you the room you need, choose to be more flexible and make the changes you need to ensure that your boundaries are aligned with who you are in the present.

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• Communicate clearly and with a calm frame of mind
  • Be clear, transparent and open about communicating your boundaries. Clearly define what is and isn’t acceptable to you. These could be physical, emotional, spiritual or material boundaries. Articulate what your limits are in a way that is understandable for others. It can be helpful to take the time to explain why something is important to you especially if you’re talking to someone who is well-intentioned.
  • Speak up and be assertive about saying no if your boundaries are being crossed. Be consistent about repeating what your limits are. Be clear about saying no – “No, I am not comfortable with that. No, I won’t be doing this. No, today is not good for me.”
  • Walk away from what makes you uncomfortable so people know that you are clear about your limits.

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• Change your inner self-talk to a positive, self-affirming conversation
  • Remind yourself that you deserve to be valued and treated with respect.
  • Figure out what actions help you to flourish. Take the time to support yourself on a daily basis.

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• Do something about what is in your control and let go of and accept what is not in your control
  • This is expressed so beautifully in the serenity prayer. Decide to stop worrying about what you can not change. Worrying too much can deplete your internal resources. If you’ve been expecting others to change and feel awful when they don’t, let go of that expectation.
  • Honor yourself by taking the initiative to remove yourself from situations that aren’t working for you and taking the action to move the needle in a positive direction in your own life.

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Are you good at having boundaries that work well for you? What are some strategies that help you with staying consistent and firm about your limits?

Have a wonderful weekend!

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